Do you have questions about how to maximize your return on effort? Do you want to be more effective and less stressed? Do you want to achieve greater success and significance? Looking for answers?
Submit your questions to Lisa here (please select the Ask Lisa check box)
Do you think it’s really possible to have it all?
I don’t think anyone can have it all, all of the time. In fact, the pursuit of that can cause an increase in the stress we feel. What we can have is what matters most to us. And what matters most, is different for different people at different stages in their lives. The key is taking time to reflect on what is important to you and to live your life in alignment with those priorities.
What tips would you give surgical professionals (the majority of whom are women) about balancing a full-time job with motherhood?
The irony is that often those women who are in the “caring” professions tend to take better care of everyone else before they do themselves. I encourage working mothers to be positively selfish, which means putting themselves at the top of their own to-do list occasionally, if not frequently. It is vital that working mothers fuel their own health – because if they are not whole and well they certainly can not be there for their children or their patients.
What are some ways people can find more time in their days?
Be more organized and disciplined. Be present in the moment – this has a way of expanding one’s perception of time. Let go of total control – learn to let other’s help you get things done. It might not be exactly how you would do it, but it gets done. Stop being a perfectionist. Aim for success versus perfection. Pay attention to those moments and small things in life that bring you joy. Laugh.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions about work/life balance?
That there is such a thing as a perfect balance between self, career and family. There is not. The word ‘balance’ itself is a misnomer. It tends to suggest that work and life are equally weighted and that this state is achievable. I don’t believe that is true – it is better to view it from the perspective of aiming for ideal integration of work and life – and that will vary from circumstance to circumstance. Also, work/life balance is not a state to be achieved it is having a flexible worldview on how to most effectively manage each day.
What else should I know about work/balance?
It is about managing yourself and your expectations and marrying that with the expectations of those around you. I often ask individuals to create a vision of their balance. It is key that each person defines what balance means to them – as it very difficult to reach success that’s balanced if you have first not defined the destination and direction you wish to go. Here is a very eloquent example of a balance vision: I want to be excited to go to work each morning and excited to return home each night.
I have been unemployed for 5 years – and an opportunity has been presented to me. I am in a very conflicted position as my children are still small (8 and 5 years old) – and I don’t want to throw myself into a new, demanding position – and leave them behind. At the same time, I am ready for a new challenge and I want to make a contribution that is bigger than my family – and show my children that I too can have a fulfilling career. In the past, I have always given 110 % to my work – it is the only way that I know how to work….but I no longer have the degrees of freedom to do this!
Your perspective is welcomed!
It’s all about success vs. perfection. Redefine what working with two children means to you now. What is your new 110%?
At what point of the job-seeking process is salary usually discussed? Is it OK for a candidate to bring up the topic?
It depends on the type of position and the corporate culture and the person doing the interviewing. Yes it is fine for candidates to bring up the topic of salary if the interviewer has not. When doing so, it is best to inquire about the salary range for the position. Remember candidates are interviewing the company, too.
How can candidates effectively answer questions such as “What salary are you expecting from this position?” without pricing themselves out of the running or selling themselves short?
One technique is to ask a question back, i.e. “Could you tell me what salary range you consider appropriate for this position and what qualifications are required.” If the interviewer continues to push for a number individuals can say: “I don’t know right now, give me 24 hours to think about it and get back to you.” Never feel pressured to respond in the moment. If the prospective employer is that pushy at the beginning and does not respect your need for a reasonable response time – they may not be a good employer.
What types of information can a candidate bring to the table to maximize his chances of receiving the salary he wants?
Do your research. Learn as much about the company and the interviewer as you can. Then cater the information you share accordingly. Don’t tell a prospective employer everything you have done or can do; just tell them what you can do for them that is relevant and perceived as valuable.
Besides turning down the job, what can a job seeker do when presented with an unfavorable offer?
Leave a good impression. It is your reputation. Call back the next day (do not use email or any other electronic format where your intent can be misunderstood) and tell the interviewer all the reasons you’d like to work with the company but after due consideration there seems to be a misalignment with their needs and the value you bring to the organization. And ask if there is way to bring their needs and the value you offer into better alignment. If there seems to be interest make a counter offer.
I’ve been hearing a lot about “energy management” as an effective way to maximize my performance. Have you got any tips on how I can better harness my energy?
I answered this question in a recent keynote I gave at the Rotman School of Management. I can’t delve into all the layers of that presentation in this forum but I can give you a simple tip to get you started.
Step 1: List the tasks on your personal and professional “to-do” list.
Step 2: Group those tasks into a low, medium or high priority.
Step 3: Identify which of those tasks energize you and those that do not.
Step 4: Now plot the tasks on the double-axis grid below.
If you have a task or an activity that energizes you and is a high priority – go attack it with gusto. Not only will you be doing something you love, you’ll gain even more energy because a high priority item is complete. For items that are a low priority but bring you energy, save those for a time when you need an energy boost.
If you are facing a task that depletes your energy but is a high priority, consider delegating the task to someone else. But make sure it gets done. Otherwise any energy gain from the act of delegation is sure to be lost if a deadline is missed. And finally, if an activity is a low priority and drains your energy – don’t do it. Yes, I said: “Don’t Do it.” Think of the energy you’ll gain but letting go of what does not matter.
How do I balance work and family obligations over the holidays?
First of all, what you want to do is have a realistic vision as to what you want your holidays to be about. What is realistic to accomplish and to do?
Often what can happen is that people get overwhelmed over the holidays because they’ve planned or hoped to plan something that is larger than they can actually manage. What are the memories you want to create? Get some clarity around what this vision looks like to you. Is it about small, family, intimate things? Is it about traveling and getting away for the season?
The next thing is to factor in some time for you. The holidays take a lot of energy and it’s important to look at whether you have some downtime to read a book, or have a nap, or take a walk.
Finally, make sure you look for adequate support and help. You don’t need to do everything. Make a list of what needs to be accomplished and share the load. After all, it is a holiday; it is supposed to be enjoyable!
How do I stick to my New Year’s resolutions?
Here’s my take on resolutions: they don’t work. So, don’t make them.
The reason they don’t work is, first of all, they’re based on our “shoulds,” or what we think we should do. And, second of all, they’re not based on a holistic view of our lives.
Instead of arbitrarily naming New Year’s resolutions, you can create what I call a “life theme.” A life theme is your overriding intention for the year that takes into consideration all aspects of your life. The more concise you make your life theme, the better. Do your best to boil it down to one or two words.
I just went through this exercise recently at one of my workshops, where I coached someone to develop her theme. Her theme for the year in 2010 is growth, and that growth, to her, represents having another a child, getting a promotion at work and growing her relationship with her husband.
What’s exciting about a life theme is once you set the intention, you tend to follow through and make it happen. And a year later you’re there.