Getting Want You Want

Who are you? What do you want?

Two questions that on the surface appear simple but in actuality exceptionally profound.

To be the person you long to be and reach the goals that you aspire to achieve is not something that just happens or is a result of luck.

To get what you want most you need two things:

1.    Vision: see the future you want to create

2.    Absolute commitment: doing what it takes to get there

The following are five tips to help you grasp a vision for a better future and gain the internal resilience to do what it takes to make that vision a reality:

·    Establish and maintain connections. Good relationships and a solid community not only helps you identify and uncover what you are meant to be and do but also provides the emotional support required for the journey.

·    Reframe your understanding of crisis and challenge. Stress happens. Jobs get lost. Companies go under. Families fall apart. The only thing that is within your control is how you respond and use your challenges to grow and create deepened internal strength.

·    Make movement towards your goals. Break your vision into actionable components and then just take action. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

·    Strive for success…not perfection. If you wait for all the stars to align and guaranteed results for every action you take, then your chances for overall success dramatically diminish. Take a risk, make a move…because even if you fail, it is one piece of knowledge that you didn’t possess before that might prove to be invaluable to you in the future.

·    Foster your self-esteem. The number one thing that separates realized potential and wishful thinking is self-esteem. Your sense of self-worth and value is the foundation which enables you to take risks and properly internalize the lessons of failure. It is this foundation that enables you to keep your wins and losses in perspective and keep going towards your dreams. Your positive sense of worth will make it easier for you to take care of your own needs and feelings and ensure that the activities that you find enjoyable and relaxing are a part of your daily life. Self-care is essential if you want to avoid burnout and go the distance to fulfill your aspirations.

Take some time now to think about your answers to the questions:  who am I and what do I want?  And then honestly assess how well you are exercising the above five actions and decide what you need start, continue and stop doing to get want you want.

 

Career and Leadership Success

Last week I had the honor of participating in Peter Reek’s Smart & Savvy Associates fantastic event for those wishing to build their marketing careers.

The event was masterfully choreographed with words of wisdom from 12 seasoned professionals sharing career planning “hindsights” interspersed with a dance competition, the Price is Right and Deal or No Deal.  The truly magnificent part of the evening was that each speaker had only 5-minutes (think ‘petcha kucha’ style) to share their insights (and, yes, most kept to the clock).

I was last up of the 12 and shared my “Seven Steps to Career and Leadership Success.”

I shared not only my personal experience, but more importantly, I shared the collective wisdom and hindsights of the hundreds of individuals I’ve coached to career and leadership success over the past dozen years.

Here’s a brief summary of what I said.  I decided to create a mnemonic to make the steps easy to remember. A video of the event is coming soon.  But until then, this will have to suffice.

Set a vision and goals:  The most successful folks I know set a vision (1 or 5 years out) for what is possible for their leadership and life.  They take a holistic view and determine the destination they aim to reach.  Then they put that vision up on the shelf and trust in it and themselves. Next they take an action everyday (large or small) that moves them in the right direction.

Understand self-esteem CPR:  Self-confidence is knowing the you have the skills to do something well.  Self-esteem is knowing your worth even if you are doing nothing.  Lack of self-esteem can stunt your career; no matter how talented you are.  You know you have strong self-esteem when you stay on an even keel no matter how great the wins or losses.  When you have strong belief in your worth regardless of market conditions you can practice Self-Esteem CPR:  you make Choices that move you toward your vision; you make Positivity a priority (your attitude, people and environments that surround you); and, you take measured Risks because you feel good in your own skin.

Create value security:  Job and career security has gone the way of the Brontosaurus.  It is extinct.  Yesterday’s world was about being employed.  You put in the hours and they gave you a gold watch.  Today’s world is about being employable.  You are measured on the value you bring and the results you deliver.  The more value you create, the more you make your performance shine, the more career options become available to you.

Contribute to others:  Don’t give to get.  Give to give.  Endeavor to make a meaningful impact on others.  Further this philosophy in your networking, volunteerism and day-to-day interactions.

Exercise your superpower:  The workplace rewards mastery not mediocrity.  The marketplace rewards mastery not mediocrity.  The leaders I know who have success on their terms play to their strengths.  They do not shore up weakness; and, instead build within their power alley.  In other words, if you were a superhero what would your superpower be?

Synergize your career and life:  Do not sacrifice your life for your career. Avoid burnout.  In our crazy busy world there is no such thing as balance and forget trying to achieve it.  Strive for harmony between your roles and responsibilities. In doing so, you will stop worrying about whether you are doing the right things and focus on doing the right things the right way.

Seek success not perfection: Perfection is a career killer.  When you focus on everything being a 100% right you get stuck.  You hold on too tightly and do not delegate or let things go.  You try to control everything and everyone. You miss opportunities to grow and take risks.

Monday Morning Rise and Shine 05.16.11

RisingStar2 May 16, 2011 – Issue #7

This weekly newsletter is one of the services Betsy and Lisa are now offering as part of their new brand: Top Talent Mesh/Rising Star Careers. We invite you to be a part of the Rising Star conversation.

Success from the Inside Out Self-esteem in our opinion is: ownership of one’s self and life. Lack of self-esteem then is a ceding or giving up control over one’s self and life to others. Ownership of one’s self and life means that you are free to focus on building a life and career on the foundation of your:

* Strengths * Interests * Passions * Goals * Aspirations * Values

Authentic self-esteem is when you choose to live out your own aspirations…and that your “choices” are not ceded to others to define and bring about success for you. Therefore, as you strengthen your self-esteem you acquire the self-confidence to reach for what matters most.

Survey Says Contribute to our conversation.

Last week we asked you what you think is the number one thing that holds people back from their dreams. We gave choices: lack of knowledge, skills, emotional support, financial resources, time or self-esteem. Overwhelmingly, lack of self-esteem was identified as the key barrier to success (68% of respondents selected lack of self-esteem, followed by lack of financial resources at 20%).

Read more about self-esteem here.

You may subscribe and encourage others to subscribe by clicking here.

© Betsy Jordyn and Lisa Martin 2011. All rights reserved.

Self-Esteem and Success: Creating Your Career from the Inside Out

Self-esteem is often defined as “a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth” or “one’s collections of beliefs or feelings we have about ourselves, our “self-perceptions.”

We feel while those definitions can be a starting point for thinking about self-esteem, they are limiting because they are not hitting at the heart of the issue.

Self-esteem in our opinion is: ownership of one’s self and life. Lack of self-esteem then is a ceding or giving up control over one’s self and life to others. Ownership of one’s one self and life means that you are free to focus on building a life and career on the foundation of your:

  • Strengths
  • Interests
  • Passions
  • Goals
  • Aspirations
  • Values

Authentic self-esteem is when you choose to live out your own aspirations…and that your “choices” are not ceded to others to define and bring about success for you. The indicators of authentic self-esteem include:

  • Seeing self as an autonomous individual with valuable skills that help others
  • Having a defining line of who you are…and who you are not
  • Possessing and living out personal values and priorities
  • Setting limits on what violates your sense of self and value
  • Living responsibly with others – able to be self and let others be themselves and respecting their sense of personhood and autonomy

When you own who you are and your own life…you feel empowered to exert positive energy to accomplish your goals.

When you own who you are and your own life…you make choices to bring about the results you want.

When you own who you are and your own life…you will takes risks because you are safe in your own skin.

Ask yourself the following questions to determine whether or not you possess authentic self-esteem:

  1. Do your choices of how you invest your time and energy demonstrate alignment with your own gifts, aspirations and values?
  2. To what degree do you feel that you have a choice over what happens in your life?
  3. To what degree do you feel that you have control over your own emotions and thoughts?
  4. How much freedom do you feel that you have to take the initiative towards creating the life you want?
  5. How readily are you able to take responsibility for the consequences of your choices?
  6. How well do you limit exposure to people or situations that harm or drain you?
  7. How aware are you of your real feelings, thoughts and aspirations?
  8. How often and effectively do you express your real feelings, thoughts and aspirations?
  9. Do the investments you make of your time and energy align well with your values and what you want to accomplish?
  10. Do you feel like you can say “yes” to the things that support your visions and align with your talents and values and say “no” to the things that don’t?

“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid”  Audra Lorde