The Thrive Thought: The Thrive Credo

Posted on May 7, 2012

The Thrive Credo

There are five necessary conditions that must be present if you wish to thrive. A necessary condition is something that you must be willing to do (at the very least be actively pursuing) in order to get what you really want on your own terms.

To thrive, you must be willing to:

Overcome the frustration + stress of too much to do
Increase your results + satisfaction
Improve the quality of your personal + family time
Enhance the meaning + happiness in your life
Make every moment matter

This week’s ask: Are you willing to accept the Thrive Credo + take on the necessary conditions for achieving what matters most?

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Creating Win-Win-Win Dynamics Through Influencing

Posted on April 28, 2012

Influence is the capacity or power to be a compelling force on the actions, behavior, and opinions of others, meaning that influence is what you use to get what you must have. You accomplish this by taking charge of your messaging, knowing your audience, and managing people well. Nearly every day, you are engaged in some form of influencing or negotiating in which you are the influencer or the influencee. In all such situations, there are tradeoffs, no matter which side you are on. But even when trading off, are you working to ensure that the balance sheet is skewed in your favor?

Here are some suggestions for you to build a reputation as a powerful influencer and, therefore, successfully influence anyone at anytime:

1. Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want to buy a car? Do you want to complete a project? Do you want to delegate something or build more efficient teamwork? Whatever you want, always be very clear about your goal.

2. Specifically identify the person you must persuade. Is it someone on your team? Is it a sponsor in your organization? Always study the people in authority in order to decide exactly the one(s) you want to influence.

3. Choose the optimal time and place for persuasion. And always remember that timing is important. The best time to make your case is when there is a sense of urgency on the part of the influencee. And remember also that you will be more successful if the influencing occurs on your turf. A neutral location would be the second-best place. Your third option should be the influencee’s turf.

4. Understand the other person’s position and interests before you begin the process. This means determining whether he or she is close to or far from your position. If your positions are close, the influencee might need only a gentle nudge or a brief conversation in order to come to agreement. If your positions are far apart, however, then you will need to bring in the heavy artillery.

5. While you’re in conversation, listen for overlap and commonality, so you can begin your discussion from a position of agreement. Listen carefully, ask questions, make sure you understand what is being said, value the influencee’s points of view, explain clearly what you think, and be sure that the other person understands what you’re saying. Doing these things will help to ensure the agreement will end in a way that is inclusive and fair.

6. Prepare to sacrifice “wants” to gain “musts.” Always try for the BATNA, and remember that all influencing and negotiation is built around tradeoffs.

7. Be sure there is opportunity for a win-win-win situation for all involved. Creating a win-win-win perception will ensure that everyone involved feels good about what’s happening, because they all need to achieve the “what’s in it for them” factor.

8. Reflect on and reaffirm the agreement, which means summarizing it as you go through the process. Think back on and recount the points in the agreement, so it becomes and remains solidified as you move forward.

9. Aim for a commitment, because buy-in is as important as an agreement. Without buy-in, nothing happens. People often agree to things with no intention of honoring the agreement. If they feel pushed into a corner, they’ll comply but they won’t connect. So, to ensure that the process is fair, aim for a solution that each person is comfortable with and willing to work to achieve.

10. Document the agreement as necessary, and get started. You want to put it into action, so as soon as you reach an agreement, get moving. The longer you wait to move on the agreement, the higher the chances are that something will spoil it.

Getting Want You Want

Posted on April 18, 2012

Who are you? What do you want?

Two questions that on the surface appear simple but in actuality exceptionally profound.

To be the person you long to be and reach the goals that you aspire to achieve is not something that just happens or is a result of luck.

To get what you want most you need two things:

1. Vision: see the future you want to create

2. Absolute commitment: doing what it takes to get there

The following are five tips to help you grasp a vision for a better future and gain the internal resilience to do what it takes to make that vision a reality:

· Establish and maintain connections. Good relationships and a solid community not only helps you identify and uncover what you are meant to be and do but also provides the emotional support required for the journey.

· Reframe your understanding of crisis and challenge. Stress happens. Jobs get lost. Companies go under. Families fall apart. The only thing that is within your control is how you respond and use your challenges to grow and create deepened internal strength.

· Make movement towards your goals. Break your vision into actionable components and then just take action. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

· Strive for success…not perfection. If you wait for all the stars to align and guaranteed results for every action you take, then your chances for overall success dramatically diminish. Take a risk, make a move…because even if you fail, it is one piece of knowledge that you didn’t possess before that might prove to be invaluable to you in the future.

· Foster your self-esteem. The number one thing that separates realized potential and wishful thinking is self-esteem. Your sense of self-worth and value is the foundation which enables you to take risks and properly internalize the lessons of failure. It is this foundation that enables you to keep your wins and losses in perspective and keep going towards your dreams. Your positive sense of worth will make it easier for you to take care of your own needs and feelings and ensure that the activities that you find enjoyable and relaxing are a part of your daily life. Self-care is essential if you want to avoid burnout and go the distance to fulfill your aspirations.

Take some time now to think about your answers to the questions: who am I and what do I want? And then honestly assess how well you are exercising the above five actions and decide what you need start, continue and stop doing to get want you want.

Communicate Like a Leader

Posted on March 6, 2012

There’s a huge chasm between being a technically excellent communicator and communicating like a leader. Leadership and communication are intrinsically linked. Every communication is an opportunity to lead.

Everyone communicates, yet few are able to reach an audience and shape their thinking and influence them. Too much communication is dull, uninspired or simply useless, but those who communicate like a leader connect with their audiences and inspire them to action. They change lives and organizations from the inside out. This understanding is critically important to your career success.

Here’s how to communicate like a leader:

Become intentional. Communicating like a leader means taking the time upfront to plan your communications. Think carefully about the situation and what outcomes you are hoping to achieve, and then develop your communication strategies accordingly.
Connect with care (to one or many). Understanding that your focus must be on others is often the greatest hurdle people face in making strong connections. You have to get past what YOU want to accomplish. People take action for their reasons, not yours or mine, so get on their agenda and try to see things from their point of view.
Deliver the right message, the right way, at the right time. The effective delivery of communication is a fine balance of the message, the medium you use, and how you time the delivery. In some cases you get to design the message; in some cases it is designed for you and you have the responsibility to deliver it. Regardless, it’s important to map out your audiences and the desired level of engagement, as well as what message is going out when via what medium.
Inspire others to take action with the Inspiration Equation. This formula for communicating like a leader empowers even the more plain spoken and introverted to gain influence with your audience or employees: What People Know + What People See + What People Feel = Inspiration. When these three factors come into play and you are able to bring them into alignment, it creates a synergy that inspires people to take action.
Understand the true purpose of your communication. Leaders do not seek to inspire awe in their own skills and abilities, but to inspire the recipients of their messages in THEMSELVES and their ability to make a difference by taking positive action. Excellent communication can change a mind or a mood, but as someone who seeks to communicate like a leader you truly can be the catalyst that helps individuals and the organizations achieve greater levels of success and significance.

Fabulous Friday – Fantastic Ideas from Forward Thinkers

Posted on March 3, 2012

I’m a big fan of Seth Godin and his on-the-edge ideas. His lastest brainchild is the “Stop Stealing Dreams” manifesto containing posts, provocations and insights into how to change and improve the education system.

If you have a child in school or are employer in search of great talent or someone who cares about the future of our collective learning…this is a must read. You can download the 30,000 word manifesto here.

Worth reading? It was released a week ago and already 100,000 have done so.

Read a short excerpt below.

Column A and Column B

Aware

Caring

Committed

Creative

Goal-setting

Honest

Improvising

Incisive

Independent

Informed

Initiating

Innovating

Insightful

Leading

Strategic

Supportive ——————————————- >

Obedient

Which column do you pick? Whom do you want to work for or work next to? Whom do you want to hire? Which doctor do you want to treat you? Whom do you want to live with?

Last question: If you were organizing a trillion-dollar, sixteen-year indoctrination program to turn out the next generation of our society, which column would you build it around?

This is more of a rant than a book. It’s written for teenagers, their parents, and their teachers. It’s written for bosses and for those who work for those bosses. And it’s written for anyone who has paid taxes, gone to a school board meeting, applied to college, or voted.

Create Value Security and Own Your Career

Posted on February 27, 2012

Job and career security has gone the way of the brontosaurus. It is extinct. The truth is in today’s world it is no longer enough to be employed; you need to be employable. The more value you create, the more you make your performance shine, the more career options become available to you. Paradoxically, you actually have more career control than ever before because success in today’s workplace is measured by the value you bring and the results you deliver.

Businesses are giving preference to and specifically seeking top talent, those high performers who deliver above and beyond time and time again, to help them reach their organizational goals. Even if they are not hiring, organizations wishing to outpace their competition are relying on developing and growing the top talent within their ranks. You can see this as a threat… or as an opportunity.

Here’s how to create value security and own your career:

1. Stop desiring job security. There really is no such thing. Rather than feeling “victimized” by the market and conditions outside of your control, start being a “victor” and take proactive responsibility for your career by creating value security. You have to focus on becoming more valuable and consistently delivering results.

2. Be the CEO of your career. As the CEO of your career, just like the CEO of a company, you need to see the big picture and take full responsibility for your vision. Take the initiative to both strengthen your existing position within your firm and enhance your overall professional profile for opportunities outside your current employment. Continually seek ways to add value to your role, your organization, your clients, your networks and your community.

3. Make your performance shine. Ensure that the value you offer—your unique skills and talents—is stewarded in such a way that you are seen as top talent. Continually build your reputation and position in the marketplace by consistently adding tremendous value to your interactions with others. Top performers are to organizations like ice cream cones are to children. Everyone wants them.

4. Know your strengths, talents and star power. Top performers have six key attributes: character and integrity (they do what they say), consistent contribution (they deliver results), connection (they relate well to others), commitment (they are passionate about what they do), capacity (they are able to adapt, grow and change), and a can-do attitude. Focus on ways to align your core strengths with these attributes.

5. Develop your value so you stand out above the crowd. Strategically develop and grow in all six of the top talent attributes. Build a solid reputation. Know what you are great at and ensure you have a good career fit that maximizes your strengths. Practice listening more and learn how to facilitate dialogue and shared agreement. Find a way to connect personally with your organization’s values and how they relate to your value system. Master your time and your fears. And practice saying yes to the right challenges.

6. Develop your career brand and value proposition. This gets at the heart of who you are. Start thinking about what is representative of you and what you do best (your strengths). Understand that you already possess a personal brand or reputation based on your strengths, passions and skills. Now you need to think about the defining characteristics that differentiate you from everyone else. And determine the promise of service you will make and consistently deliver upon.

Exercise Your Superpower

Posted on February 12, 2012

We are often so busy doing all the things that must be accomplished in a day that the concept of being is neglected. Often sheer necessity, the need to meet all our obligations, drives us to focus only on what has to be done—getting a promotion, completing a report, having a tough conversation with an employee. But even our best plans can collapse when we concentrate only on what has to be completed. We must also consider who we really are, and want to become, to make changes and bring more power into our lives.

Your superpower is your brightly shining essence of self, your true being, encapsulated in your natural talents, true gifts and special traits. Many of us find it difficult to name our superpower, because we’ve been programmed to focus on what we are not versus who we are. We direct our energy toward “fixing” the weaker parts of ourselves rather than celebrating and strengthening our brilliance. But the leaders I know who have success on their terms play to their strengths. They do not shore up weakness; instead, they build within their power alley. Success and Significance Question

If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? The workplace and the marketplace reward mastery, not mediocrity. In what areas of your leadership and life are you a true master?

Monday Morning Rise and Shine 02.06.12

Posted on February 6, 2012

MMRS

February 6, 2012 – Issue #43

Be purposeful about disengaging from physical activity AND mental activity. Take time away from the running around AND all the pressures that occupy and stress out your brain.

Unplug from your smartphone, Facebook page and addiction to being connected and busy all the time. Go to bed earlier, take a day off each week for rest and rejuvenation.

Take your vacation days. And then watch as you crack the code on working smarter…not harder.

This Week’s Action: Ask yourself: Do I value my sense of worth based on how busy I am? What am I afraid of if I slow myself down?

You may subscribe and encourage others to subscribe by clicking here.

Monday Morning Rise and Shine 01.30.12

Posted on January 30, 2012

MMRS

January 30, 2012 – Issue #42

ROI of Silence and Solitude

The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, self-sufficient. It knows how to survive in hard places. But it is also shy. Just like a wild animal, it seeks safety in the dense underbrush. If we want to see a wild animal, we know that the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods yelling, for it to come out. But if we walk quietly in the woods, sit patiently by the base of the tree and fade into our surroundings, the wild animal we seek might put in an appearance. Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness

The quickest way to build your capacity is to add silence and solitude to your list of daily practices. Taking time alone to reflect, think, plan and just be will do far more for you than keeping yourself busy and inundated with the noise and constant stimulations that compete for our attention. The benefits that you will receive will far outweigh your guilt for not being more productive or your discomfort with quiet. You will gain:

Access to your inner creativity
Clarity
Opportunities to tap into insights that go beyond typical thinking processes

This Week’s Action: Pick a time and location that feels comfortable and safe from distractions and disruptions and simply do nothing. Try it for five minutes and see what happens.

You may subscribe and encourage others to subscribe by clicking here.

LOL – Only read this if you know me really well…otherwise you might be needlessly annoyed

Posted on January 25, 2012

A couple of weeks ago my soul sister and I had just finished a beautiful hike in the mountains. We decided to go back to her house a grab a HOT cup of tea.

As we sipped from our mugs my friend was enthusiastically showing me the new “super sonic” bird feeder her children had given her for Christmas. She explained with much excitement how this glass and steel contraption was so much better for the birds in terms of keeping them safe from other animals that might like to access the feeder (like bears). Did I mention she backs on to a greenbelt?

Having two cats myself, and knowing that my friend has a couple of rent-a-cats that come by often for meals and love I asked: “What do the cats think of the bird feeder?”

“Oh, we haven’t seen much of them lately – so I don’t know.” A few minutes later there was a neighborhood cat, named Java, at the glass balcony door eyeing up the bird feeder.

My friend first spoke eloquently about how beautiful Java was (he is a gorgeous and big cat) and then opened the door and tried to “shoo” Java away. Have you ever tried to “shoo” a cat? It doesn’t work…especially when there is bird feeder and LOTS of little birds flying above its head. But after several scoldings Java seemed to disappear.

With the birds now safe we sat back down on the couch and resumed our conversation. My friend remarked on how great it was to have this bird feeder as there now were all these new birds she’d “never seen before” coming by. In the exact moment those words left her mouth, one of these unusual birds swooped through the sky towards the feeder and WHAMO Java pounced out of nowhere and caught the bird mid-air in his jaws and they both disappeared.

“Well,” I said. “I guess that’s one bird we’ve never seen before and one we’ll never see again.”

Lisa Martin International

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