Tag Archives: Executive coaching

Creating Win-Win-Win Dynamics Through Influencing

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Influence is the capacity or power to be a compelling force on the actions, behavior, and opinions of others, meaning that influence is what you use to get what you must have. You accomplish this by taking charge of your messaging, knowing your audience, and managing people well. Nearly every day, you are engaged in some form of influencing or negotiating in which you are the influencer or the influencee. In all such situations, there are tradeoffs, no matter which side you are on. But even when trading off, are you working to ensure that the balance sheet is skewed in your favor?

Here are some suggestions for you to build a reputation as a powerful influencer and, therefore, successfully influence anyone at anytime:

1. Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want to buy a car? Do you want to complete a project? Do you want to delegate something or build more efficient teamwork? Whatever you want, always be very clear about your goal.

2. Specifically identify the person you must persuade. Is it someone on your team? Is it a sponsor in your organization? Always study the people in authority in order to decide exactly the one(s) you want to influence.

3. Choose the optimal time and place for persuasion. And always remember that timing is important. The best time to make your case is when there is a sense of urgency on the part of the influencee. And remember also that you will be more successful if the influencing occurs on your turf. A neutral location would be the second-best place. Your third option should be the influencee’s turf.

4. Understand the other person’s position and interests before you begin the process. This means determining whether he or she is close to or far from your position. If your positions are close, the influencee might need only a gentle nudge or a brief conversation in order to come to agreement. If your positions are far apart, however, then you will need to bring in the heavy artillery.

5. While you’re in conversation, listen for overlap and commonality, so you can begin your discussion from a position of agreement. Listen carefully, ask questions, make sure you understand what is being said, value the influencee’s points of view, explain clearly what you think, and be sure that the other person understands what you’re saying. Doing these things will help to ensure the agreement will end in a way that is inclusive and fair.

6. Prepare to sacrifice “wants” to gain “musts.” Always try for the BATNA, and remember that all influencing and negotiation is built around tradeoffs.

7. Be sure there is opportunity for a win-win-win situation for all involved. Creating a win-win-win perception will ensure that everyone involved feels good about what’s happening, because they all need to achieve the “what’s in it for them” factor.

8. Reflect on and reaffirm the agreement, which means summarizing it as you go through the process. Think back on and recount the points in the agreement, so it becomes and remains solidified as you move forward.

9. Aim for a commitment, because buy-in is as important as an agreement. Without buy-in, nothing happens. People often agree to things with no intention of honoring the agreement. If they feel pushed into a corner, they’ll comply but they won’t connect. So, to ensure that the process is fair, aim for a solution that each person is comfortable with and willing to work to achieve.

10. Document the agreement as necessary, and get started. You want to put it into action, so as soon as you reach an agreement, get moving. The longer you wait to move on the agreement, the higher the chances are that something will spoil it.

Communicate Like a Leader

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There’s a huge chasm between being a technically excellent communicator and communicating like a leader. Leadership and communication are intrinsically linked. Every communication is an opportunity to lead.

Everyone communicates, yet few are able to reach an audience and shape their thinking and influence them. Too much communication is dull, uninspired or simply useless, but those who communicate like a leader connect with their audiences and inspire them to action.  They change lives and organizations from the inside out. This understanding is critically important to your career success.

Here’s how to communicate like a leader:

  1. Become intentional. Communicating like a leader means taking the time upfront to plan your communications. Think carefully about the situation and what outcomes you are hoping to achieve, and then develop your communication strategies accordingly.
  2. Connect with care (to one or many). Understanding that your focus must be on others is often the greatest hurdle people face in making strong connections. You have to get past what YOU want to accomplish. People take action for their reasons, not yours or mine, so get on their agenda and try to see things from their point of view.
  3. Deliver the right message, the right way, at the right time. The effective delivery of communication is a fine balance of the message, the medium you use, and how you time the delivery. In some cases you get to design the message; in some cases it is designed for you and you have the responsibility to deliver it. Regardless, it’s important to map out your audiences and the desired level of engagement, as well as what message is going out when via what medium.
  4. Inspire others to take action with the Inspiration Equation. This formula for communicating like a leader empowers even the more plain spoken and introverted to gain influence with your audience or employees: What People Know + What People See + What People Feel = Inspiration. When these three factors come into play and you are able to bring them into alignment, it creates a synergy that inspires people to take action.
  5. Understand the true purpose of your communication. Leaders do not seek to inspire awe in their own skills and abilities, but to inspire the recipients of their messages in THEMSELVES and their ability to make a difference by taking positive action. Excellent communication can change a mind or a mood, but as someone who seeks to communicate like a leader you truly can be the catalyst that helps individuals and the organizations achieve greater levels of success and significance.

Create Value Security and Own Your Career

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Job and career security has gone the way of the brontosaurus. It is extinct. The truth is in today’s world it is no longer enough to be employed; you need to be employable. The more value you create, the more you make your performance shine, the more career options become available to you. Paradoxically, you actually have more career control than ever before because success in today’s workplace is measured by the value you bring and the results you deliver.

Businesses are giving preference to and specifically seeking top talent, those high performers who deliver above and beyond time and time again, to help them reach their organizational goals. Even if they are not hiring, organizations wishing to outpace their competition are relying on developing and growing the top talent within their ranks. You can see this as a threat… or as an opportunity.

Here’s how to create value security and own your career:

1.    Stop desiring job security. There really is no such thing. Rather than feeling “victimized” by the market and conditions outside of your control, start being a “victor” and take proactive responsibility for your career by creating value security. You have to focus on becoming more valuable and consistently delivering results.

2.    Be the CEO of your career. As the CEO of your career, just like the CEO of a company, you need to see the big picture and take full responsibility for your vision. Take the initiative to both strengthen your existing position within your firm and enhance your overall professional profile for opportunities outside your current employment. Continually seek ways to add value to your role, your organization, your clients, your networks and your community.

3.    Make your performance shine. Ensure that the value you offer—your unique skills and talents—is stewarded in such a way that you are seen as top talent. Continually build your reputation and position in the marketplace by consistently adding tremendous value to your interactions with others. Top performers are to organizations like ice cream cones are to children. Everyone wants them.

4.    Know your strengths, talents and star power. Top performers have six key attributes: character and integrity (they do what they say), consistent contribution (they deliver results), connection (they relate well to others), commitment (they are passionate about what they do), capacity (they are able to adapt, grow and change), and a can-do attitude. Focus on ways to align your core strengths with these attributes.

5.    Develop your value so you stand out above the crowd. Strategically develop and grow in all six of the top talent attributes. Build a solid reputation. Know what you are great at and ensure you have a good career fit that maximizes your strengths. Practice listening more and learn how to facilitate dialogue and shared agreement. Find a way to connect personally with your organization’s values and how they relate to your value system. Master your time and your fears. And practice saying yes to the right challenges.

6.    Develop your career brand and value proposition. This gets at the heart of who you are. Start thinking about what is representative of you and what you do best (your strengths). Understand that you already possess a personal brand or reputation based on your strengths, passions and skills. Now you need to think about the defining characteristics that differentiate you from everyone else.  And determine the promise of service you will make and consistently deliver upon.

Exercise Your Superpower

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We are often so busy doing all the things that must be accomplished in a day that the concept of being is neglected. Often sheer necessity, the need to meet all our obligations, drives us to focus only on what has to be done—getting a promotion, completing a report, having a tough conversation with an employee. But even our best plans can collapse when we concentrate only on what has to be completed. We must also consider who we really are, and want to become, to make changes and bring more power into our lives.

Your superpower is your brightly shining essence of self, your true being, encapsulated in your natural talents, true gifts and special traits. Many of us find it difficult to name our superpower, because we’ve been programmed to focus on what we are not versus who we are. We direct our energy toward “fixing” the weaker parts of ourselves rather than celebrating and strengthening our brilliance. But the leaders I know who have success on their terms play to their strengths. They do not shore up weakness; instead, they build within their power alley. Success and Significance Question

If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? The workplace and the marketplace reward mastery, not mediocrity. In what areas of your leadership and life are you a true master?

Career and Leadership Success

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Last week I had the honor of participating in Peter Reek’s Smart & Savvy Associates fantastic event for those wishing to build their marketing careers.

The event was masterfully choreographed with words of wisdom from 12 seasoned professionals sharing career planning “hindsights” interspersed with a dance competition, the Price is Right and Deal or No Deal.  The truly magnificent part of the evening was that each speaker had only 5-minutes (think ‘petcha kucha’ style) to share their insights (and, yes, most kept to the clock).

I was last up of the 12 and shared my “Seven Steps to Career and Leadership Success.”

I shared not only my personal experience, but more importantly, I shared the collective wisdom and hindsights of the hundreds of individuals I’ve coached to career and leadership success over the past dozen years.

Here’s a brief summary of what I said.  I decided to create a mnemonic to make the steps easy to remember. A video of the event is coming soon.  But until then, this will have to suffice.

Set a vision and goals:  The most successful folks I know set a vision (1 or 5 years out) for what is possible for their leadership and life.  They take a holistic view and determine the destination they aim to reach.  Then they put that vision up on the shelf and trust in it and themselves. Next they take an action everyday (large or small) that moves them in the right direction.

Understand self-esteem CPR:  Self-confidence is knowing the you have the skills to do something well.  Self-esteem is knowing your worth even if you are doing nothing.  Lack of self-esteem can stunt your career; no matter how talented you are.  You know you have strong self-esteem when you stay on an even keel no matter how great the wins or losses.  When you have strong belief in your worth regardless of market conditions you can practice Self-Esteem CPR:  you make Choices that move you toward your vision; you make Positivity a priority (your attitude, people and environments that surround you); and, you take measured Risks because you feel good in your own skin.

Create value security:  Job and career security has gone the way of the Brontosaurus.  It is extinct.  Yesterday’s world was about being employed.  You put in the hours and they gave you a gold watch.  Today’s world is about being employable.  You are measured on the value you bring and the results you deliver.  The more value you create, the more you make your performance shine, the more career options become available to you.

Contribute to others:  Don’t give to get.  Give to give.  Endeavor to make a meaningful impact on others.  Further this philosophy in your networking, volunteerism and day-to-day interactions.

Exercise your superpower:  The workplace rewards mastery not mediocrity.  The marketplace rewards mastery not mediocrity.  The leaders I know who have success on their terms play to their strengths.  They do not shore up weakness; and, instead build within their power alley.  In other words, if you were a superhero what would your superpower be?

Synergize your career and life:  Do not sacrifice your life for your career. Avoid burnout.  In our crazy busy world there is no such thing as balance and forget trying to achieve it.  Strive for harmony between your roles and responsibilities. In doing so, you will stop worrying about whether you are doing the right things and focus on doing the right things the right way.

Seek success not perfection: Perfection is a career killer.  When you focus on everything being a 100% right you get stuck.  You hold on too tightly and do not delegate or let things go.  You try to control everything and everyone. You miss opportunities to grow and take risks.

Survey Says: No Time for Fun

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This week we asked “Why is it hard to tap into our playful spirits and create connection with those around us through fun?” Overwhelmingly the response was “lack of time” at 63% (next highest rated option was worries of the world and obligations at 17%.)

We could give you a simple solution to this dilemma – you simply need to prioritize rest and relaxation. Put it on the calendar as you would any other essential activity. And if we did give you that simplistic advice, it would minimize your reality. We don’t have as much available time as we had in the past. Workloads are becoming unmanageable. What it takes to compete in the marketplace is intense.

So, instead of telling you to slow down or work less (though you can incorporate this strategy, if desired), we want to encourage you to relearn a key trait that children innately possess that enables them to have fun wherever they are. We want you to practice being  present. If you have to, take moments in your day when you leave your virtual and ever-present office that is contained in your iPad or phone behind and engage yourself fully in your life. Walk your dog, play with your kids, take in that sunset, hold your loved one’s hand.

Do what you can to create a barrier when you stop work so that you can become absolutely alive to what is in your life. The more present you are to them, the more likely your ordinary moments can be transformed into the fun and memorable.

You may not get more time…but your time might get better.

Lisa’s Monday Mentor Minute 3/7/11

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monday-mentor

March 7, 2011 – Issue #16

The new Monday Mentor Minute is a weekly thinking point to launch your career forward. It should take you no more than 30 seconds to read, and, I hope, another 30 seconds to ponder.

Believe in What you Want Here’s a strategy to employ to become a more effective influencer no matter what the situation or negotiation you will potentially face.

First and foremost, you have to believe in yourself and believe that what you want (your goals and intentions), is valuable, necessary, and relevant. This means that you have the confidence and self-esteem to pursue what you feel is good for you and good for others, so that there is an opportunity for a win-win-win situation for all involved. And, remember, you can’t influence others if you don’t believe in yourself, in the worth of your ideas, and in the value that you bring to a negotiation.

Monday Mentor Question Do you feel you deserve what you desire or do you feel guilty for wanting more?

You may subscribe and encourage others to subscribe by clicking here.

© Lisa Martin International 2011. All rights reserved

Creating Win-Win-Win Dynamics Through Influencing

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Influence is the capacity or power to be a compelling force on the actions, behavior, and opinions of others, meaning that influence is what you use to get what you must have. You accomplish this by taking charge of your messaging, knowing your audience, and managing people well.

Nearly every day, you are engaged in some form of influencing or negotiating in which you are the influencer or the influencee. In all such situations, there are tradeoffs, no matter which side you are on. But even when trading off, are you working to ensure that the balance sheet is skewed in your favor?

Here are some suggestions for you to build a reputation as a powerful influencer and, therefore, successfully influence anyone at anytime:

1. Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want to buy a car? Do you want to complete a project? Do you want to delegate something or build more efficient teamwork? Whatever you want, always be very clear about your goal.

2. Specifically identify the person you must persuade. Is it someone on your team? Is it a sponsor in your organization? Always study the people in authority in order to decide exactly the one(s) you want to influence.

3. Choose the optimal time and place for persuasion. And always remember that timing is important. The best time to make your case is when there is a sense of urgency on the part of the influencee. And remember also that you will be more successful if the influencing occurs on your turf. A neutral location would be the second-best place. Your third option should be the influencee’s turf.

4. Understand the other person’s position and interests before you begin the process. This means determining whether he or she is close to or far from your position. If your positions are close, the influencee might need only a gentle nudge or a brief conversation in order to come to agreement. If your positions are far apart, however, then you will need to bring in the heavy artillery.

5. While you’re in conversation, listen for overlap and commonality, so you can begin your discussion from a position of agreement. Listen carefully, ask questions, make sure you understand what is being said, value the influencee’s points of view, explain clearly what you think, and be sure that the other person understands what you’re saying. Doing these things will help to ensure the agreement will end in a way that is inclusive and fair.

6. Prepare to sacrifice “wants” to gain “musts.” Always try for the BATNA, and remember that all influencing and negotiation is built around tradeoffs.

7. Be sure there is opportunity for a win-win-win situation for all involved. Creating a win-win-win perception will ensure that everyone involved feels good about what’s happening, because they all need to achieve the “what’s in it for them” factor.

8. Reflect on and reaffirm the agreement, which means summarizing it as you go through the process. Think back on and recount the points in the agreement, so it becomes and remains solidified as you move forward.

9. Aim for a commitment, because buy-in is as important as an agreement. Without buy-in, nothing happens. People often agree to things with no intention of honoring the agreement. If they feel pushed into a corner, they’ll comply but they won’t connect. So, to ensure that the process is fair, aim for a solution that each person is comfortable with and willing to work to achieve.

10. Document the agreement as necessary, and get started. You want to put it into action, so as soon as you reach an agreement, get moving. The longer you wait to move on the agreement, the higher the chances are that something will spoil it.

Lead Yourself First this Holiday Season

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For leaders and emerging leaders, the holiday season can be a time of great joy and stress.  Personal circumstances and intense work demands, can leave you, and your colleagues at all levels, feeling 360° pressure at this time of year. 

Here are three ideas you can use to lighten up and help yourself, and others, ease the demands of the season.

1. Identify ‘recharge’ tools 
It’s easy to become so preoccupied with taking care of the daily urgencies of the holidays – the working, the visiting, and the organizing – that no space, time or energy is left for you. When your needs and self-care fall to the bottom of your list, this is a one-way ticket to a tired, cranky, impatient…and less productive you.

Give yourself permission to put the quality of your own life at the top of your holiday wish list. To do so, identify three holiday recharge tools you can use to take better care of you, such as practicing meditation, going out for a walk, reading your favorite book, renting a video, sleeping in or hitting the gym.

Write these ideas down and when you feel like you are reaching the edge of comfort, make a pledge to engage in these stress-relieving activities.

2. Ask for help
 Asking for help can seem extremely difficult. But if you don’t request assistance during the holidays you may find yourself at your wit’s end. If you think you need to do it all, think again.

Acknowledge that support will ease your load and make things happen faster. Resist the temptation to go it alone or take on more than you can reasonably do. Draft a list of activities, professional and personal, you want to commit to this season (nothing more) and write the names of the people you’d like to help out. Then start making calls.

3. Say “yes” to what matters
 You know what and who they are – the physical and emotional demands that consume a lot of your holiday energy and space. It is your choice to say “yes” to the things that fulfill you and make your holidays happy, and “no” to your “shoulds” and “have tos.”

This season, take a few minutes to think about the things that may be a source of stress and sort which really matter and which do not.  If you know hosting a traditional dinner for 25 is not high on your list, don’t commit to it this year. Either say no, ask another family member to step-up or prepare that seafood buffet you always wanted to experiment with.

By letting go of the unimportant and focusing on what matters most, you choose what you want ensuring you lead yourself first and experience the best of the season.

Leaders and Emerging Leaders; Action and Opportunity

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I believe there is real value in making the complex simple.  For example, we know that smart organizations maximize their talent so talent can maximize results.

So if we strip maximizing results to its core, it means having the right people in place to expertly and consistently grow the business.  Top talent in organizations can be predominantly classified into two groups:  emerging leaders and leaders.  While action and opportunity are two key conditions that must be present for growth to take place.  I’ve turned this thinking into the visual explanation below.

Slide1

Here’s my summary: •    The ideal place is in the middle. Organizations need to be balanced in how they approach growth and how they leverage the skills and smarts of their people.

•    Growth needs to be a combination of equal amounts of action and opportunity.  When growth opportunities are identified they are just conceptual unless action is taken to realize them.  Thinking and talking about something doesn’t make it happen.  Actions without a solid opportunity present can result in nothing more than spinning wheels, wasted talent and resources.

•    Leveraging an organization’s intellectual capital requires an exchange of knowledge and synergy between levels and generations. Leaders have experience and expertise to share that can expedite emerging leaders learning and organizational development and vice versa.  But one group’s experience should not overshadow the other.  There is an imbalance if one group is doing all the leading and the other is doing all the following. Both emerging leaders and leaders can build business together better than separately.

•    Wherever your organization falls on this chart…the closer to the center the better you are able to maximize your talent and results. This balance (what I call the Talent Mesh) between individual and company is mutually-beneficial and reinforcing.

I’d like to give a special thanks to my colleague and fellow consultant Betsy Jordan who sparked this idea after a recent conversation we had about “givers and takers.”

© Lisa Martin International 2010. All rights reserved