Influence is the capacity or power to be a compelling force on the actions, behavior, and opinions of others, meaning that influence is what you use to get what you must have. You accomplish this by taking charge of your messaging, knowing your audience, and managing people well.
Nearly every day, you are engaged in some form of influencing or negotiating in which you are the influencer or the influencee. In all such situations, there are tradeoffs, no matter which side you are on. But even when trading off, are you working to ensure that the balance sheet is skewed in your favor?
Here are some suggestions for you to build a reputation as a powerful influencer and, therefore, successfully influence anyone at anytime:
1. Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want to buy a car? Do you want to complete a project? Do you want to delegate something or build more efficient teamwork? Whatever you want, always be very clear about your goal.
2. Specifically identify the person you must persuade. Is it someone on your team? Is it a sponsor in your organization? Always study the people in authority in order to decide exactly the one(s) you want to influence.
3. Choose the optimal time and place for persuasion. And always remember that timing is important. The best time to make your case is when there is a sense of urgency on the part of the influencee. And remember also that you will be more successful if the influencing occurs on your turf. A neutral location would be the second-best place. Your third option should be the influencee’s turf.
4. Understand the other person’s position and interests before you begin the process. This means determining whether he or she is close to or far from your position. If your positions are close, the influencee might need only a gentle nudge or a brief conversation in order to come to agreement. If your positions are far apart, however, then you will need to bring in the heavy artillery.
5. While you’re in conversation, listen for overlap and commonality, so you can begin your discussion from a position of agreement. Listen carefully, ask questions, make sure you understand what is being said, value the influencee’s points of view, explain clearly what you think, and be sure that the other person understands what you’re saying. Doing these things will help to ensure the agreement will end in a way that is inclusive and fair.
6. Prepare to sacrifice “wants” to gain “musts.” Always try for the BATNA, and remember that all influencing and negotiation is built around tradeoffs.
7. Be sure there is opportunity for a win-win-win situation for all involved. Creating a win-win-win perception will ensure that everyone involved feels good about what’s happening, because they all need to achieve the “what’s in it for them” factor.
8. Reflect on and reaffirm the agreement, which means summarizing it as you go through the process. Think back on and recount the points in the agreement, so it becomes and remains solidified as you move forward.
9. Aim for a commitment, because buy-in is as important as an agreement. Without buy-in, nothing happens. People often agree to things with no intention of honoring the agreement. If they feel pushed into a corner, they’ll comply but they won’t connect. So, to ensure that the process is fair, aim for a solution that each person is comfortable with and willing to work to achieve.
10. Document the agreement as necessary, and get started. You want to put it into action, so as soon as you reach an agreement, get moving. The longer you wait to move on the agreement, the higher the chances are that something will spoil it.