Helping Stars Shine while Dealing with the Shadow | | Lisa Martin InternationalLisa Martin International

By Lisa Martin & Betsy Jordyn

There is no bigger Rising Star than a superhero, and Mr. Incredible of the 2004 Disney animated feature The Incredibles was one of the best. His strength was matched only by his passion to help other people and make the world a better place. Sadly, he and his family were forced to go under cover and he had to take a job working as an insurance man.

Bob Parr’s (aka Mr. Incredible) frustration hits a breaking point after his boss refuses to let him rescue an innocent crime victim. “Bob” loses his temper and assaults his boss. So what happened? Bob/Mr. Incredible became a Rising Star in the shadow.

The Shadow of the Rising Star

Rising Stars are those unique individuals with exceptional promise. They outperform in comparison to their peers, time and time again. But they are not always shining brightly. Sometimes their lights temporarily dim. We refer to those moments as the “Shadow of the Rising Star,” because the Rising Star experience feels, either to them or to others, like the color black. Technically, black is the absence of color and normally, a Rising Star is full of color. So when a Rising Star does not project their natural light, there is a problem.

There are two aspects of the Rising Star Shadow:

When a Rising Star is no longer as bright as normal, it is often an indicator that they are burning out.
Peers and, sometimes even, managers feel they are in the shadow of the Rising Star. The “pointy-ness” of the Rising Star inadvertently irritates others.

Dealing with a Rising Star that is Burning Out

Burnout is either present or on the way when one or all of the six attributes of a Rising Star that were once present are visible no longer. The following can be indicators that the natural light has dimmed:

Lack of presence Your Rising Star simply seems to be somewhere else. They struggle with connecting well with others in ways in which they were once strong. (Communication)
Lack of focus Your Rising Star is not able to get as much done as they used to. Work seems be falling through the cracks and they are less enthused than usual by new opportunities. (Capacity)
Lack of patience or interest with thrilling customers/clients/internal partners Your Rising star is not delivering the results they used to or delivering them as consistently as they once did. (Consistent Contribution)
Lack of passion Your Rising Star demonstrates disinterest or apathy at times when they normally wouldn’t. (Commitment)
Integrity breaches Your Rising Star takes shortcuts they normally wouldn’t. (Character)
Negativity Your Rising Star’s normal can-do and positive approach to possibilities is replaced by fatalistic thinking and rationales for why something won’t work. (Can-Do Attitude)

Mr. Incredible demonstrated all of these indicators. He was impatient, his mind was always somewhere else, his simmering anger was always near the surface and he made choices that normally were outside of his character, such as harming his boss.

Here are the top five reasons a Rising Star might burn out:

Relentless drive stops them from slowing down or taking time for themselves/family. Lack of balance can work for a Rising Star, but when it stops working, it can derail and devastate their career.
They have reached the limit of their current role and instead of being challenged, they are becoming dangerously bored. Boredom is like starvation to Rising Star motivation, as Mr. Incredible demonstrated.
The job fit is all wrong. Rising Stars can choose roles because they want the challenge and career progression, but without realizing that the role doesn’t leverage their true talents. This is particularly evident in the early career decisions of Rising Stars.
Either they have changed or the organization has changed, and there is now a values misalignment. Passion is the context by which strengths are engaged. If the work culture no longer speaks to the Rising Star’s internal value system and priorities, they lose the spark that ignites their potential.
They are experiencing a significant personal/emotional situation that is interfering with their performance, such as having a baby, dealing with death or sick loved ones, experiencing domestic strife, etc. Rising Stars are not immune to difficult life situations. Their performance can definitely be affected by trauma, as anyone else’s would be.

The issue of burnout with Rising Stars isn’t about dealing with if it will happen, but when it will happen. We have yet to experience true Rising Stars that haven’t struggled at some time with burnout. The following suggestions will help your Rising Stars to minimize burnout and/or mitigate its impact:

Be as deliberate about life balance as they are about success.
Set life balance goals.
Put life balance appointments ahead of work commitments on their calendar.
Put them in a community with other Rising Stars so they will feel less isolated.
Give them stretch assignments/major challenges/additional educational experiences (especially with other Rising Stars) to keep them from getting bored.
Encourage them to find a new job if they really have outgrown their job or if their job doesn’t fully leverage their talents before burnout sets in.
Encourage them to consider the wide range of available career paths that would free them from feeling stuck in an organization that doesn’t fit them.

If the cause of the burnout is personal issues, you have a unique point in time to help a Rising Star not just to survive the challenge but also to turn it into a major growth opportunity. You can transform the crisis by:

Reminding your Rising Star who they are. Tell them that they are talented, they have potential and they have resilience to get through a tough time.
Encouraging them by explaining that the current situation is temporary and the personal issue will not continue indefinitely.
Creating conditions for your Rising Star that enable them to continue to produce. Allowing them to work from home or to work flexible hours. Rising Stars will want to feel they are adding value, so do what you can to allow them to feel that way.
Providing a vision for growth. Letting them know that what they are experiencing can become a catalyst for growth beyond their comprehension.

“Ouch, that point hurts!” or When Others Feel in the Shadow of the Rising Star

The points of the Rising Star can irritate others. Sometimes the points hurt because a Rising Star doesn’t recognize their own strength and how it can affect others. And sometimes the points hurt because a Rising Star, by virtue of being themselves and shining brightly, causes others to feel dim.

Like burnout, this reality that others can feel in the shadow of the Rising Stars needs to be anticipated and accepted. There will be times when others experience a Rising Star negatively, when they acutely feel the “pointy-ness” of a Rising Star’s strengths. Typical situations a Rising Star may run into include:

They think faster than others, which makes others feel like they cannot contribute at the same level.
Their quick insight and faster, more logical synthesis of information makes others question their own ideas.
Their drive causes others to question their own pace.
Their can-do attitude can make others’ issues with fears of failure become more pronounced.
Their intolerance for incompetence may invalidate others and prevent them from seeing their own unique gifts.
They may state the obvious in a non-politically correct fashion.

To mitigate the negative impact of these situations, a Rising Star should be encouraged to first accept the reality that they possess the traits to shine brilliantly, which can both inspire and threaten others. The more a Rising Star resists the label, the more likely they will unintentionally offend others, because they will not know their own strength. Remember, Mr. Incredible had to come to terms with the strength of his superpower. He recognized the point at which he might start to hurt a human. He knew how to moderate his strength under various circumstances. Similarly, a Rising Star has to accept that they have a gift that others may not possess and thus will need to learn not to overpower others. They will need to become tolerant and realize that not everyone is like them. The better they are at accepting their own gifts, the better they will be at seeking out and accepting the gifts of others.

Second, Rising Stars need to find a way to stay true to who they are and to be sensitive to the issues they raise in others. The idea is not to change the essence of your Rising Stars, but to add to their compassion toolbox. Arm Rising Stars with this posture to deal with situations when their points bother others: What does it look like to move towards the person/group that I may have inadvertently offended and respect their value, while maintaining who I am and what I need, too?

Rising Stars should never be encouraged to dim their light or be less of themselves. They should not be told to, “Think more slowly” or “Contribute less.” Rather, they should be adding new behaviors such as: “include disclaimers before speaking,” “spend additional time developing relationships” or “actively solicit others’ opinions,” because these behaviors allow Rising Stars to move towards others, in order to seek, find and bring out the best in them.

The Top Line

Bob Parr moved out from his shadow and regained his identity as Mr. Incredible when he made some dramatic changes to deal with what had happened to him. He took an assignment to go to a remote island and dismantle the Omnidroid 9000, in order to save the world. This bold decision reminded him of who he was and what he could do. In the process of his taking this assignment, Bob’s family wound up joining him on his mission. They formed a powerful team that had the opportunity to experience the full extent of their own talents. They, as a unit, were transformed, thus demonstrating that Rising Stars not only have the capacity to do amazing things for their organization, but they can also provide the conditions that motivate those around them to discover and leverage their best and sometimes hidden talents.

Being in the shadow of the Rising Star can feel dark and scary, but, like everything else with a Rising Star, it is fertile ground for exponential growth, for the Rising Star and everyone else around them. Embrace all that your Rising Stars can provide for you, in the brightness and in the shadows. When you do so, you and your organization will experience explosive, unprecedented growth…and you will achieve more than you imagined possible.